This seasons has been quite difficult in all different aspects, but mainly result wise where throughout the whole season, I didn’t manage to ski at my best in races resulting into some mediocre results and the others most often in a dnf (did not finish).
For anyone that doesn’t know one dnf can take you in a negative spiral which is very difficult to come out of. So coming into that day of racing of the season, completing 2 races back to back in one day, I’ve only managed to score one result. That meant that my fis points would go up for next season, that impacting my start numbers. In addition to that I was on a 6 DNF streak over the last week and a half.
When I woke up on that morning I’ve put myself a big pressure for me to perform because it was my last opportunity. I had an ok bib for the first race (13), knowing that with the warm temperatures, the slope was going to deteriorate a lot quicker than usual. Time for the race, I’ve inspected well, I did a good warm up. I should be ready.
So I watch my team mate who had bib one and has the same kind of level as I am. I watch him go and 5 gates in he stops!! For what ever reason, I still don’t know why and him either. Seeing this I try to refocus, ignoring what just happened. A couple of other guys go down with no issues, then it’s my turn.
I start well, the conditions aren’t great but it’s alright. I’m focused, solid, and error free. I’m telling myself that I need to finish to give myself a chance to score points. 20 gates in, I don’t know what happened, I sat down in a hairpin, and before I have time to realise what happened I’m on the side of the slope standing next to my teammate who waited to watch me. At that time I didn’t know what to say so I skied down to my coach, and that didn’t help, he decided to ignore me completely. As if one does.
So I just skied down and sat down in the finish area with my friend to watch the end of the first run. Turns out we were the only 2 dnf in the top 40!!!
We both waited for the second run to happen, then we went straight back up for the inspection of the second race that was going to start. In the meantime, while waiting quite depressed, I phoned my mum telling her that I had enough and didn’t want to race, and that I just wanted to go home and be over with the season.
Now we’re back after the inspection, my coach still refusing to talk to me, I did everything on my own, because you’re better off alone than badly accompanied.
I had bib 6 for the first run so a little better.
I tried to ski cleaner and tried to ski it solid until the end which I managed to do despite a very tricky hairpin on the line that took a big bunch of the race out.
After run one I was sat in 9th, 1,5s off the lead. Not great but at least I was in the finish. My coach still refusing to talk to me as it wasn’t good enough, I was off alone for my second run, which happened to be in the same course as the first race second run which I didn’t ski, compared to all the others.
The slope was in very bad condition, so it will have to be a real fight, but you never know what can happen.
In the start gate I just told myself to enjoy and do my best and whatever happens happens.
5 gates in I did a huge mistake nearly taking me out, but I decided to fight. 20 gates later an other mistake just coming onto the flat taking some speed off, an other 10 gates later an other huge mistake. But I somehow managed to save all of them and bring if to the finish line. When crossing the line I didn’t expect anything with all my mistakes, but I guess that I just pushed so hard in between my mistakes that my run wasn’t that bad at all, I was 4th 0,6s off and still 8 guys to go.
But the tricky conditions had the best of the remaining racers as nobody managed to go ahead of the leader, leaving me at 0,6 which is close enough for me to score my second result of the season on the last race of the year.
After realising that I went up on the lift alone, and had tears in my eyes, finally realising that I managed to score on the last race of a very difficult season.
